Join the loop.
We are looking for exceptional people who are ready to give everything to the shoe. The shoe will give some of it back.
- $500,000base salary, every role
- 100%onsite
- 100%remote
- 0shoes in the office
Workplace policies
How we work.
Please read every policy. You will be tested on them during round nine.
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Policy 01
Shoes off.
No shoes are permitted inside the office. This is a shoe company. Leave yours at the door. They will be collected, studied, and returned in a different condition. We do not provide slippers. Socks are reviewed quarterly.
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Policy 02
Onsite. Also remote.
We are fully in-person, five days a week, and fully remote. You are expected to be in the office and not in the office at all times. We will know.
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Policy 03
Hydration.
Every water fountain dispenses Kool-Aid. Red. There is no water in the building. Do not ask about the water.
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Policy 04
Hours.
Nine a.m. to nine p.m., six days a week. The seventh day belongs to the shoe. The shoe works it.
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Policy 05
Time off.
Unlimited PTO. Taking it is a performance signal. We will not tell you which kind.
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Policy 06
Equity.
0.0001%, vesting over forty years with a thirty-nine year cliff. Paid in shoes.
Open roles
Seven roles. One shoe.
Every role pays $500,000. Every role is founding. Every role reports to the shoe. One role reports to no one, briefly.
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Req. No. 0001 · EngineeringUrgent since 2026
Founding Agentic Cobbler (Forward-Deployed)
You are the human in the loop. You are the loop.
$500,000base · 0.0001% equity- 15+ years building autonomous AI agents in production.
- 20+ years of hand-welted resoling. Concurrently.
- Can resole a Chelsea boot with your eyes closed, in a moving car.
- Has trained a frontier model. On a shoe.
- Forward-deployed to all five boroughs at once.
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Req. No. 0002 · Research
Staff Heel Researcher, RL Environments
Build the hallway. Walk the hallway. Become the reward signal.
$500,000base · 0.0001% equity- PhD in heels, or two PhDs in anything else.
- Published at NeurIPS, ICML, and a cobbler's guild.
- Able to lift 90 lbs of wooden feet unassisted.
- Comfortable with long horizons. The hallway is long.
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Req. No. 0003 · Physical AI
Head of Feet
Own the foot, end to end. Every foot. All of them.
$500,000base · 0.0001% equity- Must have feet. Two preferred.
- 10+ years managing feet at scale.
- Has a point of view on the arch. Will not share it.
- Willing to be measured. Frequently. Without notice.
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Req. No. 0004 · Design
Founding Designer, Laces
Taste is required. The Founder will tell you if you have it. You do not.
$500,000base · 0.0001% equity- Portfolio of at least 400 knots.
- Fluent in Figma, Cursor, and the bunny-ears method.
- Has opinions about aglets and keeps them private.
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Req. No. 0005 · Operations
Chief of Staff to the Chief of Staff
Support Dale. Support the hat. Know the difference.
$500,000base · 0.0001% equity- Tolerance for the hat.
- Tolerance for the carrots. They are very spicy.
- Available to wobble on short notice.
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Req. No. 0006 · Go-to-market
Founding Account Executive, Enterprise Feet
Sell the loop to Fortune 500 companies. They all have feet. That is the TAM.
$500,000base · uncapped shoes- Closed a seven-figure deal with a shoe.
- Can explain the loop without stopping. For an hour.
- Quota: all feet. Ramp period: none.
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Req. No. 0007 · CultureFirst to fire
Founding Disruptor (First to Fire)
We say disruption in every deck. This is the person who does it. You will be paid to disrupt the workplace, disagree with everyone, and be the first person we fire. Success in this role is measured by how quickly it ends.
$500,000base14%equity · fully vested on termination- Disagree with every decision, including the ones you made.
- Cause at least three disruptions per standup. Standup is daily.
- Reply-all. Always.
- Wears shoes in the office. Only you. This is the job.
- Drink from the fountain and say it tastes like water.
- Ask Dale to take off the hat. Every day. He will not.
- Get fired within 90 days. Fired on day one is exceeds expectations.
- Must not leave voluntarily. Quitting forfeits the equity.
Interview process
Twelve rounds. Usually a week.
We move fast. You will not.
- Recruiter screenThirty minutes with a shoe. Camera on.
- Take-homeResole a boot over the weekend. We send the boot. We keep the boot.
- Technical screenImplement an agent swarm on a whiteboard. Shoes off.
- Foot interviewWe look at your feet. You don't speak.
- System designDesign the operating system for the shoe era. Forty-five minutes.
- Culture fitDrink from the fountain. Describe the taste.
- DaleDale wears the hat. Dale decides.
- OnsiteAlso remote. Attend both.
- Policy examClosed book. Every policy on this page.
- The wooden footThe board member. It does not ask questions.
- FounderMarkosh stares at you for the remainder of the time.
- OfferExtended, rescinded, extended. Sign within the hour.
Application
Apply.
Takes four minutes. Reviewed in under one. Rejected in the same minute, usually.
- Nothing you enter here is sent or stored. It stays in the box.
- Cobblers is not a real company and is not hiring.
- The Kool-Aid policy is real. It applies to you now.